Cassandra Kalpaxis has witnessed heartbreak and betrayal from every angle during her 14 years as a lawyer handling divorce cases.
But one peculiar type of marriage breakdown continues to shock her – even though she has seen it happen many times before, and likely many times to come.
The family law expert, 37, admits she never ceases to be amazed by the wives who walk into her office asking for a divorce after finding out they are dying.
‘They come to me in the middle of their cancer treatment and tell me they want a divorce,’ she tells me.
‘They are either sick of living a lie and realise life is short, or they work out they don’t want to die next to a partner they are no longer in love with.’
Ms Kalpaxis says people with a terminal illness often have a moment of clarity upon their diagnosis that makes them radically reconsider their marriage.
And she finds they are very determined to see the legal process through to the end.
‘Sometimes they don’t know if they are terminal or not, but having cancer with a poor prognosis is enough to make them give their partner the flick,’ she adds.
Ms Kalpaxis finds that women who ask for a divorce tend to do so in their fifties, while men who walk out on their marriages do so in their seventies. But in cases where a terminally ill spouse initiates proceedings, it can happen at any age.
The length of the marriage doesn’t factor into the decision, either. Neither does having children together.
‘It’s almost like they wake up [after the diagnosis] and decide they don’t want to live a lie and they are sick of the charade,’ she says.
‘In some cases, they feel completely disconnected from their spouse. Maybe they didn’t support them through the diagnosis how they would have wanted, or maybe they weren’t picking up the slack at home.’
In sensitive cases such as these, Ms Kalpaxis always asks the client if they are sure they want to go through their illness alone. They are invariably determined to.
‘It is very confronting when these people come through the door, after a diagnosis like that, keen to make such a significant decision,’ she reveals.
Ms Kalpaxis will never forget the first time it happened.
The woman walked in, having just broken the news to her husband, and revealed she had a terminal diagnosis and didn’t want to be stuck in her marriage until the end. READ MORE
