Open relationships have soared since the pandemic as couples grow bored with each other, a sex expert is claiming. Romantic burnout caused by spending too much time together during lockdowns has been blamed for lacklustre lovers starting to stray.
Sex therapist Dr. Tammy Nelson reported a 45 percent leap in inquiries about discussing the subject with partners in recent months. She said: “Couples are now keener than ever to spice things up a bit. Many have started to outsource their needs in the shape of open relationships.”
While men are usually the ones who suggest more sexual freedom, it is women who want it to continue, it is claimed. Dr. Nelson said: “Women are now much more in charge and much more demanding. That’s why we’re seeing more open relationships. “Men bring it to the table, women think about it for a long time, then after they do it, women don’t want it to stop.
“There have been at least six longitudinal studies … in total tens of thousands of adults in a range of ages from 18 to 70, which have showed consistently that in a long-term committed exclusive relationship, women stop wanting to have sex in years one to four.
“But men in these long-term exclusive relationships are pretty happy having sex with their long-term partners for nine or 12 years without reporting boredom.” And Martin says it’s not because women want less sex. They need variety, novelty, and adventure — otherwise, they get bored.
“What we see consistently, repeatedly is that for women only, long-term monogamy is predicting low desire, not because they don’t like sex, but because it’s harder for them to be interested in sex with the same person over and over and over.”
When researching her book Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We Believe About Women, Lust, and Infidelity Is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free, Martin discovered it was women who were primarily asking for polyamorous and open relationships.
“[They were] coming into therapists with their male partners and saying, ‘I want us to introduce a third into our relationship.'” Desiree Spierings is a relationship counselor and sex therapist in Sydney. She says in the clients she has worked with, more often it is the woman instigating an open or poly relationship.
