A Lesbian Rescued From the Dead End of Sexual SinUnbelievers don’t “struggle” with same-sex attraction. I didn’t. My love for women came with nary a struggle at all. I had not always been a lesbian, but in my late 20s, I met my first lesbian lover. I was hooked and believed that I had found my real self. Sex with women was part of my life and identity, but it was not the only part—and not always the biggest part. I simply preferred everything about women: their company, their conversation, their companionship and the contours of their/our body. I favored the nesting, the setting up of house and home, and the building of lesbian community. As an unbelieving professor of English, an advocate of postmodernism and poststructuralism, and an opponent of all totalizing meta-narratives (like Christianity, I would have added back in the day), I found peace and purpose in my life as a lesbian and the queer community I helped to create. It was only after I met my risen Lord that I ever felt shame in my sin, with my sexual attractions and with my sexual history. Conversion brought with it a train wreck of contradictory feelings, ranging from liberty to shame. Conversion also left me confused. While it was clear that God forbade sex outside of biblical marriage, it was not clear to me what I should do with the complex matrix of desires and attractions, sensibilities and senses of self that churned within and still defined me. What is the sin of sexual transgression? The sex? The identity? How deep was repentance to go? MORE